If bad news depress you, Journalism is the best way to losing weight without dieting. If you don’t want to lose weight, then try those hilarious Chinese wisdom. It was one of those days that a colleague, Merina, fished out something from Google and began hahaha-ing in the middle of her editing a press release. What were the joyful reasons that brought such mirthful light in the otherwise bleak, sad, blood-and-gore grind of the newsroom? Well, it was a collection of what was titled “Wise Chinese Sayings” good ol’ Google gifted her.

This one:

  • Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.
  • Man who run in front of car get tired.
  • Man who run behind car get exhausted.
  • Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
    Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.
  • Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth.
  • Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
  • It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.
  • Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
  • Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
  • Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.
  • Girl who sits on Judge’s lap get honorable discharge.
  • Man who leap off cliff jumps to conclusion.
  • Girl who do back spring on bedspring have offspring next spring.
  • Man who stutters has a lot to say.
  • Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.
  • Man who sneezes without handkerchief takes matters into his own hands.

(Al Ngullie is a Senior Journalist and Columnist with The Morung Express, a leading English Newspaper in the Indian Federal state of Nagaland)